Tiny Treasure
by PageofRage
Summary: Post Sburb. Dirk and Jake get a big surprise.
1. Chapter 1

**This scenario popped into my head one day and the only way to get it out was to write it down.**

Jake English jolted awake.

A slight confusion settled over him as he tried to figure out what had awoken him. It was still dark and he could barely see. But that was ok; he didn't really need to see. First of all he knew he wasn't alone in the bed where he lay. He could feel the arms of his beloved Dirk wrapped around his torso. Dirks soft even breaths drifted past Jakes chin as they lie facing each other. Their legs were tangled haphazardly on the lower end of the bed. Jakes arms were curled comfortably between Dirks chest and his own. Jake could feel Dirks steady heartbeat where his hands pressed against his chest.

Jake smiled tenderly at his sleeping lover and closed his eyes forgetting his confusion in the face of his overwhelming feelings for the man wrapped around him. He started to drift to sleep again when his stomach fluttered bringing him back to wakefulness.

Jakes heart sank; he still wasn't over that dammed flu! It had been plaguing him for several weeks now and he still couldn't seem to get over it. Once maybe twice a day Jake found himself hovering over a toilet emptying the contents of his stomach.

Annoyed, Jake prepared himself to get up out of bed and head for the bathroom. He lay there for a minute waiting for the nausea to hit him. When it didn't come Jakes brow furrowed in bafflement.

He was sure his misbehaving stomach was what had woken him but he couldn't figure out why he wasn't nauseous.

His stomach seemed to quiver again and Jake slid both hands down underneath his nightshirt to lay both palms flat against his belly.

His stomach fluttered again and this time he felt it from within and from beneath his own hands. It was decidedly one of the oddest sensations he had ever come across. He examined the feeling closer now that he was more awake but he couldn't make any sense of it.

He had thought at first that he was going to throw up again but without the nausea Jake didn't feel sick at all. He was sure it wasn't a muscle tick of any sort because he would have been able to still feel the muscle that was ticking.

No, this felt more like something was tapping gently on the wall between his insides and the outside air.

Jake sat up abruptly sudden fear making him breathe sharply through his nose. Both of his hands were still on his stomach as he sat there rigid wondering what the _hell was inside of him._

Of course, jerking out of Dirks arms like that was bound to wake him and Jake felt Dirk sit up beside him.

"Jake? What's wrong?" Dirk placed a hand on Jakes shoulder noticing how incredibly tense Jake had become and how his breathing was harsh and erratic. "Nightmare?"

"S-seems like a nightmare ol chap." Jake whispered unable in his panic to elaborate. Jake reached over and fumbled until he found Dirks free hand that wasn't on his shoulder and pulled it over until He was pressing Dirks hand over the spot in him that was moving.

Dirk went completely still when he felt the gentle flutter underneath Jakes skin. It stopped for a moment; then came again.

"Are _you_ doing that?" He whispered wrapping his arm around Jakes shoulders to pull him closer while his other hand stayed on Jakes stomach.

"N-no mate. Th-theres something inside m-me I think!" Dirk caught the panic showing through in Jakes voice.

They both sat still for another few minutes feeling the movement inside Jake and silently wondering what was happening. Dirk started to rub Jakes back with the hand that had been around his shoulders and that seemed to relax him a little at least. Jakes breathing evened out and the tension in him drained a little. Jake leaned into Dirk and was comforted by his mere presence. Jake knew that whatever happened Dirk would always be there for him, just like he always was there for everybody when they were in the game.

Jake even started to relax completely when he felt Dirk stiffen.

"What is it?" Jake asked looking at him through the dim light starting to come through the window of their bedroom.

"No…" Dirk breathed.

"What?" Jake insisted.

"This is gonna sound crazy and I have no idea where this thought came from but…" Dirk paused uncomfortably, "Jake… are you pregnant?"

**This is where you all groan and say "Really? **_**Really?**_

**I regret nothing… **

**runsaway…**


	2. Chapter 2

"This is gonna sound crazy and I have no idea where this thought came from but…" Dirk paused uncomfortably, "Jake… are you pregnant?"

"What?!" Jake stared at Dirk incredulously.

"It just…seems like you could be…I mean…" Jake had never before heard Dirk struggle to express something and he took it that the stress of the situation was getting to him. "Look you've been sick for how many weeks now? Yet you seemed perfectly fine after throwing up every morning. You've also been gaining weight despite being sick. "You also seem a little different lately; you know happier. Like you're glowing."

"Dirk, that's impossible. I'm a chap not a lass!"

Dirk seemed to deflate a little and he lets out a nervous chuckle. "You're right. I don't know what I was thinking. It just seemed to make sense I guess. You could just as easily have picked up a parasite in this godforsaken jungle of yours."

Both men looked out the brightening window and Jake recalled when Dirk decided to come live on the island with him after they beat SPURB and entered their new universe.

Their new world was just like earth before the game with one exception. The surviving trolls had come with them to their new universe but no one seemed at all bothered by the presence of the aliens. Their influence in the game must have created an accepted place for them in the new universe.

Now, however, all eight kids lived in the same time. Living arrangements for the striders would have been awkward if Dirk hadn't come up with an idea. Dirk suggested that Jade move in with Dave in their apartment in Houston since it was now obvious that the two had a thing. Dirk would then move out and go live with Jake on his island in the pacific. Everyone seemed happy with the arrangement. John and Jane still lived in Washington but they each had their own place. They would get together frequently to plan whatever pranks they both attempted to pull on a regular basis. Roxy and Rose both moved back into their original home together surprising everyone. Rose claimed she needed to keep an eye on her mother and try to break her of her drinking habits somewhat and Roxy said she wanted to get Rose to loosen up a bit. Whatever the reason, no one seemed to care.

They still kept in contact with each other via Pesterchum and with Jades abilities it was no problem for her to warp herself and anyone else wherever they wanted to go. This made the near impossible distances between the kids negligible.

After a moment Dirk reached over and grabbed his pointy shades from the nightstand beside the bed and placed them on his face.

"I'm calling Lil' Hal. We're going to need some help figuring out what's wrong."

**timaeusTestified [TT] began pestering timaeusTestifed [TT]**

**TT: Hey Lil' Hal you there?**

**TT: Sup.**

**TT: Something's wrong with Jake and we could use your help figuring out what's going on.**

**TT: No problem. I'm on the other side of the island right now so I'll be a few minutes getting to you.**

**TT: That's fine, thanks bro.**

**timaeusTestified [TT] ceased pestering timaeusTestified [TT]**

"He's on his way. Come on, let's get something to eat before we meet him in the lab. He'll be a few minutes getting here."

After moving in with Jake Dirk had promptly fixed brobot and even fitted him with a new heart. But instead of reactivating his programming Dirk took the pair of pointy shades containing Lil' Hals AI and integrated him into the robotic body. Lil' Hal was understandably grateful for his newfound freedom and took to exploring the limits of his new body on Jakes Island. He never strayed very far, however, showing his gratitude in small ways. He made himself available as a sort of bodyguard against the frightening fauna of Jakes Island, and his robotic body had direct access to information over the internet and that made him an invaluable medical resource. He would be able to diagnose what was wrong with Jake and even perform complicated surgery if that was what was required.

As they got up and dressed Jakes hands kept straying to his stomach as if he couldn't help himself or didn't realize he was even doing it. Dirk wondered whether it was out of worry at what might be lurking under his skin or if it was something else. His comment about pregnancy seemed to have unintentionally changed his outlook on the situation.

Whatever it was that was making his stomach flutter had stopped now; as if it had grown tired and fallen asleep. Jake couldn't feel it under his palm anymore and told Dirk as much.

In the kitchen Jake nervously picked at his food until Dirk gave him a pointed look. After that Jake finished the cereal in front of him but didn't go back for seconds like usual.

When they were both done eating and the dishes were clean they both looked at each other with worry in their eyes.

Without preamble Dirk slid his arms around Jakes waist and kissed him long and sweet. Jake returned the kiss bringing his arms up around Dirks neck. When they both broke the kiss they looked into each other's eyes, orange meeting emerald, and then pulled each other into a firm hug. They held onto each other like that for a few minutes letting their worry but also their reassurances convey themselves through touch.

Arms still wrapped around each other they made their way down to the laboratory. It was a previously unused space in Jakes house that they converted into a makeshift hospital/workshop. If either of them were hurt by the fauna of the island they had a place to patch themselves up. They had alchemized any medical equipment needed as they needed it so as to avoid cramming the space full of things they may never have need of and never use. The workshop half of the lab was for when the robots needed repairs.

So it worked both ways; whenever medical attention was needed Lil' Hal would assist the boys. And when Lil' Hal was in need of repairs or part replacements Dirk was always willing to fix a bro up.

As Dirk and Jake entered the lights flickered on over everything. They made their way over to the medical side of the place and Jake sat down on the gurney standing near the wall.

Dirk sat down on the gurney next to Jake and pulled him close in a one armed hug across the shoulders. Jake leaned his head on Dirks shoulder.


	3. Chapter 3

Dirk sat down on the gurney next to Jake and pulled him close in a one armed hug across the shoulders. Jake leaned his head on Dirks shoulder.

They were not long like that when Lil' Hal walked in. He looked exactly like Jake remembered him as brobot; roughly resembling Dirk in height and build and even sporting the same hairstyle in metal as Dirk. The only difference now was that brobots pointy anime shades were originally red. Now those red shades had been replaced with the black ones housing Lil' Hals consciousness.

"Sup." Lil' Hal greeted as he approached them.

"Hey bro. Thanks for coming in." Dirk stood and gave Hal a brofist in greeting.

"No problem. Sup Jake. Something wrong?" Brobot asked noticing Jakes hands resting on his stomach.

"Jake woke up this morning and felt something moving in his stomach. I'm afraid he's picked up some weird parasite from the jungle. Could you help us diagnose it?"

"Sure. I'll run a few simple tests and based on the results we'll go from there."

Hal then took a blood sample from Jakes arm and put it in the machine next to the bed. He then took a cable from the machine and plugged it into an outlet in the back of his neck. Directly connected to the machine he could run the tests and analyze the results exponentially faster than any human. But he also had the human intellect to extrapolate from the results.

Dirk and Jake both watched Lil' Hal anxiously waiting in tense silence for an answer. They both were watching then when Hal suddenly seemed to stiffen and turn to stare directly at Jake. The movement seemed so human they could almost see the look of surprise on Hals face even though he didn't have a face to give expressions with. If Hal had a mouth Dirk guessed it would be hanging open about now.

"What?" Dirk asked urgently.

"I'm…not sure." Hal seemed genuinely confused for a second. "The blood test gave me an unexpected answer but I want to confirm it before I try anything else. I need to give Jake an ultrasound; will you alchemize the machine for me Dirk?"

"Yeah hang on." Dirk brought out his phone and started up the alchemization process. When the machine appeared in an empty spot along the wall Dirk pushed the gurney over next to it. Jake was still sitting on the edge of it with his legs hanging down but when its movement stopped he brought his legs up and lay down flat on the bed. Or more like he leaned back because the gurney was set up so that it was in a sitting position at the moment.

Hal took a tube of something out of a drawer in the ultrasound machine and pulled off the stubby handheld device from the side. He then took a different cable coming from the ultrasound machine and plugged it into the same outlet on his neck he used before for the blood test.

"Take off your shirts please." Hal requested.

Jake obediently removed his green outer shirt and white tee and set them on the gurney next to his knee. Without the cloth covering him it was obvious how much more pronounced Jakes belly appeared.

Hal then applied a thick gel to Jakes stomach and pressed the handheld into it to spread it around somewhat. He then started the ultrasound and began moving it around Jakes abdomen searching for something. The machine was displaying the white static onto a screen facing all three people and all three were looking at the screen trying to make sense of what they were seeing.

Something flashed by on the screen as Hal passed it and he quickly stopped and moved back to investigate. He centered whatever it was on the screen and held the device very still.

Dirk and Jakes mouths fell open in total astonishment. There on the screen with a perfect rhythm was a small flashing piece of static. Enclosing that steady tattoo was more white static in the profile of a tiny human.

"Is…that what I think it is?" Dirk whispered.

"Undoubtedly." Hal replied softly, as if he could hardly believe it himself. "This confirms what I found on your blood test, Jake. You are pregnant."

**DUN DUN DUN!**

**Wait you guys already knew that.**

**Well shit…**

**I'm a go practice dodging bricks… 3**


	4. Chapter 4

"Undoubtedly." Hal replied softly, as if he could hardly believe it himself. "This confirms what I found on your blood test, Jake. You are pregnant."

"That's not possible!" Dirk could not look away from the monitor. "Jake is totally a guy. I should know, I've checked." He looked squarely at Jake then.

Jakes eyes were wide as he stared at the tiny heartbeat on the monitor. He reached out and took Dirks hand in his own. Jake suddenly smiled very wide and was happy to see Dirks tips twitch upward at the corners.

"I may have a theory as to how this is possible, but to prove it I would have to take some tissue samples from Jake. That would involve several very painful needles." Hal offered.

"Would it help find out if we're both ok?" Jake asked.

"Well a simple physical will determine your health; the tissue samples would merely prove how a human male is capable of conceiving a child."

"Let's do both then please." Jake stated without hesitation.

Dirk squeezed Jakes hand and sat down again on the gurney as Lil' Hal turned off the machine and began wiping off the gel on Jakes Stomach. As soon as he was clean Jakes hands returned to his stomach, but this time Dirk thought that it was more of a protective gesture than anything else.

Hal hadn't been kidding when he said taking tissue samples would be painful. Jake grimaced in pain each time Hal inserted a needle into him but he managed to stay completely still through it all. When Hal was finished Jake panted a little and leaned onto Dirks shoulder.

While the tissue samples were being analyzed Hal checked Jake over completely. Heart rate, blood pressure, temperature, and weight were all taken.

"Are they going to be ok?" Dirk asked and Jake smiled warmly at him for his use of the word "they".

"As far as I can tell both Jake and the baby are perfectly healthy." Hal said.

Dirk seemed to relax all at once and wrapped his arms around Jake in relief.

"We have no idea what this is going to do to Jakes health though, right?" Dirk asked Hal.

"Indeed. This is unprecedented to say the least. If you'd like I could stay close for the next five months and check Jake daily until the baby is ready to be born. At that point I would have to perform a c-section to safely deliver the baby. Jakes body is not capable of natural birth, his hips are too narrow."

"Thanks bro. That would make me feel better." Dirk said gratefully.

"What did you mean by five months?" Jake inquired.

"Judging from the ultrasound I would approximate that you are about four months along Jake." Hal answered. "I would guess that the birth will happen around mid August."

Jake pulled his shirts back on and stood and rolled his eyes smiling when Dirk stood with him keeping a hand on his elbow in case he was going to fall over or something. Jake placed a hand directly in Dirks face and pushed him away playfully.

"I'm not some frail lily there chap," he chuckled, "I'm not going to fall apart at the seams you know!"

"Sorry," Dirk looked a little sheepish, "I guess I'm a little overprotective."

"Yeah, and I'll bet you're going to be an insufferable prick for the next five months as well." Jake laughed as Dirk pulled him into a hug. "Golly Dirk," Jake sounded a little awestruck, "we're going to have a baby!" Dirk smiled warmly down at Jake and placed his hand over Jakes belly. Jakes own hands came up to cover Dirks as they pressed their foreheads together and looked into each other's eyes.

Jake suddenly huffed out a breathy chuckle.

"What?" Dirk smiled.

"I was just wondering how in blue blazes we're going to tell everyone!"

**Sappy sappy fluffy. I know. I'm a dork.**


	5. Chapter 5

"I was just wondering how in blue blazes we're going to tell everyone!"

"Hmm. I don't think they'd ever believe us if we simply told them via pesterchum. We'll have to invite everyone over for dinner or something so we can prove we're not crazy."

"Righto." Jake released Dirk and strode over to Lil' Hal who was finished cleaning up and was now standing a little awkwardly off to the side.

"Thank you my friend for all of your help." Jake said as he pulled Hal into a tight hug. "Thank you isn't really adequate to tell you the truth."

Hal was a little surprised at first with the sudden contact but he readily returned the hug after hearing what Jake had to say.

Dirk joined in at that point wrapping one arm around Jake and the other around Hal in a small group hug. "That goes for me too bro."

After the touching brohugs were over the trio separated and went about their normal routines. Lil' Hal returned to whatever he had been doing before he was interrupted by Dirk and the lovebirds returned to their interrupted sleep.

If Hal stayed a little closer and if Dirk was a little more careful how he held Jake as they slept, well, no one could blame them.

When they finally did get up Jake was energetic as ever and practically bubbling over with excitement at the prospect of this new adventure. He had immediately launched into elaborate plans pertaining to all things baby.

Dirk left him to it for now and set to the alternate task of inviting their friends over to break the news. Since none of them were in school anymore they didn't have to worry about planning around that scheduling nightmare. But everyone had various occupations that suited their diverse natures and planning ahead seemed polite.

It was currently a Thursday so Dirk figured it would be ok to plan on having everyone over on Saturday. Having decided this was a good option Dirk opened the window on his shades and logged into pesterchum.

timaeusTestified [TT] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG]

TT: Yo Bro, you there?

TG: sup

TT: Jake and I just got some important news and we wanted to share it with everyone so how about dinner at our place this Saturday?

TG: dude you know I do important shit at the club on weekends

TT: I know. But fuck if it isn't important to us.

TT:…Please?

TG: holy jesus h dick… did you just ask nicely?

TT: Yeah, fuck you too bro. Like I said this is important. Are you and Jade going to be able to flash everyone here on Saturday or not?

TG: yeah we got it. Don't get your panties in a twist. I'll work something out.

TT: Thanks bro. See you Saturday. Come around 5.

timaeusTestified [TT] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG]

timaeus testified [TT] began pestering gutsyGumshoe [GG]

TT: Jane?

GG: Why hello Dirk! Haven't spoken to you in a while! How are you guys?

TT: We're doing good Crocker. In fact we have an announcement to make and we're inviting everyone for supper on Saturday.

GG: An announcement? What kind of announcement?

TT: Nah-ah Crocker. No getting nosey right off the bat. We're telling everyone at once so if you want to figure this mystery out you have to join the party.

GG: Well I would have come anyway; I miss you guys and would have jumped at the chance of seeing you again.

GG: But now I'm insatiably curious.

TT: Not until Saturday.

GG: Fine. I'll curb my mystery-solving curiosity for now. Should I bake something for this?

TT: Sure. Your cakes are always the best. Make sure you tell John too. Dave and Jade will be picking everyone up around 5.

GG: Gotcha! See you then!

timaeusTestified [TT] ceased pestering gutsyGumshoe [GG]

timaeusTestified [TT] began pestering tipsyGnostalgic [TG]

TT: Rox you there?

TT: Roxy?

TT: Please tell me you're not drunk again

TG: Sorry Dirk I'm afraid she _is_ drunk again. This is Rose by the way. Hold on a second.

tipsyGnostalgic [TG] ceased pestering timaeusTestified [TT]

tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering timaeusTestified [TT]

TT: So what has you trying to contact my inebriated mother?

TT: Jake and I have some news and we're inviting everyone over for supper on Saturday to share it.

TT: How expedient. I would also like to see everyone again. Consider this my official RSVP.

TT: You going to make sure to drag along Roxy too?

TT: Of course. Drunk or not she would not want to miss out on seeing everyone again.

TT: Thanks Rose. See you guys on Saturday. You'll be picked up around 5.

TT: Until then Dirk.

timaeusTestified [TT] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT]

**Not sure how to do color text on this but whatever.**


	6. Chapter 6

TT: Thanks Rose. See you guys on Saturday. You'll be picked up around 5.

TT: Until then Dirk.

timaeusTestified [TT] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT]

That task accomplished Dirk got up and began the process of cleaning. Two guys in the middle of the jungle did not make for tidy living quarters. When Jake noticed what Dirk was doing he eagerly joined in as well. They spent almost the whole day cleaning up Jakes house but Dirk was careful to include several breaks to rest and eat.

He never would have guessed he was capable of over protectiveness but more than once he caught himself about to tell Jake to be careful or not to overdo himself. Each time he would clamp his mouth shut and shake his head a little at himself. Jake would not appreciate being coddled and he was just _fine_.

Dirk also let the magnitude of the situation start to sink in.

A baby.

A fucking BABY.

They were going to be parents. Dirk and Jake were going to have a living extension of themselves running around wreaking havoc shortly and Dirk was picturing himself feeding, changing diapers.

_Will I be a good parent? _Dirk asked himself more than once. Sure in the pre-scratch universe he had single-handedly raised his bro Dave from infancy but knowing the guy now he wasn't quite relieved at the results.

Put shortly Dave was an ass. What Dirk couldn't figure out was if Dave was just naturally an ass or if _he_ somehow raised him to be that way.

Dirk shook his head and decided not to dwell on it for now. Besides he wouldn't be alone in this particular venture. He looked up and watched Jake pick up several blankets off the couch and shake them out before folding them neatly and carrying them off to the linen closet.

Dirk chuckled and hoped their baby would be at least a little cooler than this ever-lovable derp.

As the day wore on Dirk also wondered how the hell he was going to convince everyone that this strange miracle wasn't a farce. He pondered what he would say and came to the conclusion that he would have to enlist Lil' Hals aid in this task as well.

When Jake returned from his errand he flopped onto the cleared couch. Dirk didn't hesitate to join him. Dirk sat down next to him and slid his arm around his shoulders. Jakes hands were resting on his stomach again and Dirk placed his other hand there as well. Jake smiled and let his head rest on Dirks shoulder and felt Dirks lips press into his hair.

They sat there for a few minutes, each marveling at the miracle inside Jake when suddenly the baby decided to start kicking again. They both jumped a little at the sudden movement but then looked at each other with the biggest grins.

"Wow, Dirk. Just…wow."

"I know." Dirk squeezed Jakes shoulders tight and gently placed his hand on Jakes cheek and turned his head for a long, slow kiss. "I guess I never thought I would get the chance to have a family with you, Jake. But now that it's happening…" Dirk couldn't finish.

"I know mate." Jake began to blink rapidly as tears formed in his eyes. "This should be our most amazing adventure ever."

**It's so FLUFFY!**

**GUH… AJKHDGKJGDYGFFF I'M SUCH A SAP I'M SORRY**


	7. Chapter 7

**As a thank you for all the lovely reviews you may have the next chapter early!**

"I know mate." Jake began to blink rapidly as tears formed in his eyes. "This should be our most amazing adventure ever."

They finished their cleaning and went to bed that night holding each other close in a haze of happiness.

Saturday morning dawned with excitement and a little apprehension for both of them. They talked about what they would have for supper and eventually decided on alchemizing pizzas for everyone.

Dirk convinced Jake to let him try to break the news to everyone before they saw Jake. This way they would see Jake's change in appearance as more than just "you're getting fat". So as the time of arrival approached Jake went down to the lab to wait with Hal.

Dirk waited somewhat nervously in the living room when a flash of green light heralded someone's arrival.

Dave stood in their livingroom and turned to face Dirk after getting his bearings on the new room. Before either could speak another flash of green light made them both blink behind their shades and look to see Rose and Roxy suddenly appear. Well Roxy stumbled into the room and Rose had to catch her arm to keep her from falling over. So much for Rox arriving sober.

A third flash of green light and the rest of the group appeared. Jade John and Jane were all still giggling over something that must have been going on before they flashed to Jakes place.

"Sup guys." Dirk starts and gets a chorus of greetings as everyone hugs and bro fists their hellos. "Pick a spot and we'll get this shit started."

Everyone sorted themselves out and found seats around the living room. Dave, Jade, and Roxy took the couch even though two more people could have fit comfortably onto its wide cushions. Jade leaned into Dave's side and his arm was wrapped around her waist as they sat on the far corner of the couch. Roxy had taken the other side and was leaning comfortably on the armrest.

Jane had taken the Armchair next to the couch. Rose had seated herself on a beanbag placed on the opposite side of the couch with John sitting cross-legged on the floor next to her and Dirk had already seated himself on a stool brought from the kitchen facing them all.

Jade was the first to comment on their missing member. Of course being ecto relatives made them closer to each other than most.

"Where's Jake?" She asked looking around.

"He'll be along in a minute," You reply. "I wanted to talk to you all before he came up."

"Is this the announcement you were talking about?" Jane inquires.

"Yeah," You take a deep breath. "Jake and I got some pretty fucking big news the other day. Jake had been sick for a while and we had Lil' Hal check him out."

"Is he ok?" Jade asks suddenly anxious.

Dirk chuckles a little as he answers. "I'd say he's more than ok but he's still in a somewhat delicate condition. I'm warning you all now not to upset him or stress him out."

"Shit bro," Dave pipes in sarcastically, "You're making it sound like he's pregnant."

Trust Dave to give THE perfect opening.

"He is." Dirk says quietly.

Utter.

Silence.

Broken suddenly by Dave busting a gut laughing.

"Fuck bro that was a good one." Dirk looks around the room to gauge the rest of everyone's expressions. At first everyone looked shocked but when Dave started laughing everyone seemed to relax and smirk. Dirk sighed, he knew this wasn't going to be easy.

"I wasn't joking."

"Oh come _on_. Jake is pregnant?" Dave asks incredulously.

"I know it's a little hard to swallow." Dirk pinched the bridge of his nose in an effort not to be annoyed with Dave. "I had a hard time believing myself. It was the ultrasound that convinced me."

Everyone had various expressions of disbelief, worry, and discomfort as they looked from Dave to Dirk, unsure of who to believe.

"How is that even possible?" Rose asks from the bean bag chair.

"We don't even know yet," Dirk replies tiredly, "Hal took some tissue samples from Jake but whatever results he has from them he hasn't shared with the rest of the class yet."

"I call bullshit." Dave deadpans. "There's no fucking way there's anything you can say that will convince me that you're not getting the jollies from messing with us right no…" the rest of his last word is choked off in a startled strangle.

In an uncharacteristic show of anger Dirk had reached up during Dave's dialogue and ripped off his pointy shades. His bright orange eyes glared at Dave with no little heat.

Dirk was positive no one besides Jake had ever seen his orange eyes in this timeline and now he was sure that Dave had never seen his alternate self's eyes either by the blatantly shocked expression on Dave's otherwise controlled face.

Dirk locked gazes with every single one of them to make sure he got his point across. The dead silence that had fallen over the room was thick with tension.

"Fuck, you're dead serious." Dave whispered wide-eyed behind his aviators.

**Well that's one way to do it Dirk…**


	8. Chapter 8

"Fuck, you're dead serious." Dave said quietly.

Dirk nodded slowly but relented in his glare and gave them all a real smile. "Pretty cool huh?"

That seemed to have broken the ice and everyone started talking at once.

"Omg Dirk, that's tots amazin." Roxy gushes.

"Holy Shit! That's sooo cool!" Jade claps excitedly.

"It still seems a little farfetched to me." Jane says still unsure.

As this was going on Dirk replaced his shades and sent a private message down to Jake telling him to join the rest of them. Whatever convincing still needed to be done could be accomplished by Jake himself.

As everyone babbled away Jake stuck his head around the corner into the living room. Dirk had to smother a smile because he could see an ice cream bucket in one of his hands and a spoon sticking out of his mouth.

"Have you guys been talking about me?" He says loudly grinning into the room after removing the utensil from his mouth and everyone whipped around to stare as he walked in.

Every eye seemed to lock onto Jakes midsection and suddenly the t-shirt that looked somewhat too tight took on a new significance.

Roxy and Jade are immediately up and hugging a laughing Jake, ice cream bucket and all. They pull him over to the couch and make him sit between them.

"I take it you convinced them of your sincerity Dirk?" Jake asks as he places his ice cream on the coffee table.

"For the most part." Dirk says simply. "I figure you could do the rest of it. Is the baby kicking?"

"Like a champ," Jakes hand falls on his stomach. "Any doubters want to feel?"

Jake leans back into the couch as Roxy and Jade immediately take him up on the offer and place their hands where Jake points them to. Their eyes widen and excited grins cover their faces as the physical proof kicks their hands through Jakes skin.

When the girls are done Jake waves over John, Jane, and Rose for a similar demonstration. Rose gives a small smile at the tiny kicks against her hand and John and Jane's apprehensive looks turn into tentative grins as they both take their turn.

Finally only Dave is left and he still looks like someone smacked him in the head with a board. Jade stands up and puts a hand on Dave's shoulder encouraging him to scoot closer to Jake on the couch trading places with him. When he's within reach he tentatively lets his hand hover over Jake and looks like a deer about to bolt.

Jake then gently reaches up and takes Dave's hand and places it on his belly. Dave starts at the first kick he feels and his mouth falls open in astonishment. He seems somewhat mesmerized by the baby's kicks and doesn't notice at first that everyone is chuckling at his dumbstruck expression.

"Holy shit on a stick, Jake." He breathes but doesn't remove his hand. Jake chuckles and pats Dave on the shoulder. The kicking grows sluggish and stops and Dave takes his hand back when he can't feel anything anymore. "Are you like, part chick or something?"

**Smooth Dave…**

**You get tomorrow's update today cause imma be gone. :D **


	9. Chapter 9

"Holy shit on a stick, Jake." He breathes but doesn't remove his hand. Jake chuckles and pats Dave on the shoulder. The kicking grows sluggish and stops and Dave takes his hand back when he can't feel anything anymore. "Are you like, part chick or something?"

"I can answer that." Lil' Hal states as he enters the room. Everyone looks expectantly at Hal as he walks over to stand next to Dirk on his stool. "The test results came out a while ago but I felt it would be better if everyone were told at the same time to avoid any misunderstandings. Feel free to ask any questions as I explain this."

"The tissue samples I took from Jake were from several different organs as well as hair and blood samples. I ran DNA tests on all of them and the results are very interesting. It seems that Jake is a chimera. That is to say he has two completely different sets of DNA. One set is male and the other is female."

"So Jake is half girl?" Jane asks. "He looks completely like a boy to me."

"Not quite." Hal says. "About ninety percent of the cells in his body have the male DNA. That includes his skeleton and muscle structures. So he looks completely male. The female DNA only exists in a small area of his body, but this includes a complete set of fully functioning, female exclusive organs. Thus his ability to conceive a child with Dirk."

"Oh, ew." John whispers and looks embarrassed when he receives several glares and eye rolls.

"How did Jakey become a chimery thingy?" Roxy pipes in.

"Well normally a human chimera is formed when fraternal twins absorb one another as they form in the womb. But none of you were born normally. I've gone through the information about the game and the only explanation I can extrapolate is that there was a glitch in the appearifier that John used to ectobiologically create everyone."

"So this is my fault?" John looks stricken but Jake instantly moves from the couch to sit next to John on the floor and pull him into a hug.

"No John," Hal clarifies, "I think the glitch already existed in the equipments programming. Probably due to the cancer the old universe was suffering from. You were just the one to set events in motion."

"Besides old chum," Jake smiled at John, "I am perfectly happy with the way I am and I am astounded and delighted to the utmost that I have the chance to have a baby with the person I love. I should be _thanking _you!"

Comforted, John hugs Jake back and Jake grunts as he hoists his growing bulk up off the ground.

"Now who's hungry? I know I am!" Everyone laughs as they all follow Jake into the kitchen.

**Short chapter is short sorry. **

**Chimerism exists! It's plausible! :D**

**Aw John your ecto-dad loves you too.**


	10. Chapter 10

Three months pass and everyone is gathering again to throw a baby shower for Jake.

At seven months he's getting pretty big and it shows. More than physically anyway. At first Dirk was worried that Jake was overworking himself with his boundless energy. But now he simply chuckled at Jake when he crashed for a nap almost every afternoon.

None of Jakes shirts fit him anymore so he had to alchemize more in larger sizes. It made him look decidedly goofy; like he was wearing one size fits all freebie shirts all the time. But Jake was more comfortable hiding his size under a baggy tee.

Jake doesn't complain but Dirk can tell that his back is bothering him. Of course with all that extra weight pulling on his lower back it's not hard to notice the slight grimace that shows whenever he stands up.

It becomes too much for Dirk when Jake tries to help clean in preparation for the party.

"Dude, stop. I can handle this." Dirk stops Jake from bending down to pick up some random Game Bro magazines that landed on the floor next to the couch with a hand under his elbow.

Jake looks a little miffed but allows Dirk to steer him to the couch and gently pushes him down to take a seat.

"Ugh, I feel horribly useless at times." He grumbles.

"I know bro. It's ok." Dirk says as he sits down next to him. "Here, turn a little." Dirk pushes Jakes shoulders so that he is facing away from Dirk as much a possible while still sitting comfortably on the couch. Dirk then begins to give Jake a back massage.

"Fuck…" Jake breathes as he leans forward to rest his elbows on his knees. This encourages Dirk as he continues to find and loosen knots in Jakes back. "Golly Dirk…that feels amazing."

"I'd want one too if I were carrying Free Willy strapped to my stomach." Dirk chuckles.

"Dirk! Our baby is not a bloody whale!" Jake tries to glare over his shoulder at Dirk but the effect is ruined because Jake can't help the smile tugging at his mouth. It turns into a laugh as Dirk finds a particularly nasty knot and begins working on it. "Though I admit he sometimes _feels_ like a bloody whale."

"He? Did Hal tell you something and leave me out?"

"No, you know very well I would have told you if Hal had discovered the gender. "He" just feels better than saying "_it_"."

The two ultrasounds that Lil' Hal had performed on Jake had both turned out to be inconclusive concerning the baby's gender. Both times the baby had been turned the wrong way. Lil' Hal even went so far as to state that even taking a sample of the amniotic fluid via amniocentesis would not yield any results. This was because Jake had both male and female DNA. So DNA testing the amniotic fluid wouldn't tell them anything. They would simply have to find out the old fashioned way.

"Ah," Dirk acknowledges as he continues his ministrations.

After a while Jake straightens up and leans back against Dirk who wraps his arms around Jake's waist, placing his hands on either side of his bulging stomach and settles them both back comfortably against the cushions.

"Have you come up with any better names since the last batch?" Jake asks.

"Oh come on! Drew is a great name! Plus it can be used as a girls or boys name." Dirk spoke into Jakes Hair as he pulled his back flush against his chest.

"Bluh, no way am I naming my baby Drew."

"It's better than Jolie. I would not name any daughter of mine after an actress who plays a skanky adventurer."

"What! Laura Croft is not skanky!" Jake is laughing now. "She's an adventurer after my own heart."

"I'm the only one allowed after your heart," Dirk meant it to come out jokingly but it sounded somewhat unsure.

Jake twisted a little in Dirks arms so he could look at Dirk. At the moment he was wearing his shades and all Jake saw was his normal poker face. But Jake reached up and slipped the shades off without any resistance from Dirk. Dirk had long ago given his trust to Jake, letting him see his eyes whenever he wanted to.

Jake saw insecurity in Dirks orange eyes and gave him a warm reassuring smile. He then confirmed his feelings by kissing him soundly. Dirk relaxed into the kiss and felt his own smile return as Jake pulled away.

"Fine, not Jolie." Jake said as he returned to his relaxed position against Dirk's chest.

They continued to discuss names when Jake yawned suddenly.

"Heh, take a nap. I'll finish cleaning and you'll be fresh for the party."

"I suppose," Jake sighs.

Dirk chuckles as he disengages himself and stands. Jake lies down on his side facing out and lifts his legs onto the other end of the couch. He rests his head on his arm and blinks sleepily with a small smile when Dirk leans down to kiss his temple before ambling away to finish the cleaning.

**No gender spoilers for you! Nyah**


	11. Chapter 11

Jake was awake by the time everyone arrived and the familiar green light flashed through the room. As usual Jade and Roxy were the first to greet Jake; both hugging him tightly making him laugh. After a quick hug from Jane she made her way to the kitchen with several grocery bags in hand and Roxy close behind with a similar bag of booze. Soon the sounds of food preparation greeted everyone's ears.

Everyone seemed to have brought some present or other and Dirk directed them to set the gifts down next to the couch for the time being.

John had immediately began chatting with Jake over the latest movies they'd both seen and they both made animated gestures as they described various scenes. Thankfully for Dirk's sanity Jake took a seat on the couch and John followed his example and sat next to him. Jade had opted to help Jane in the kitchen.

Dave and Rose chose to chat with Dirk across the living room.

"Sup bro?" Dave fist bumped Dirk.

"Hello Dirk." Rose gave Dirk a quick hug.

"Sup guys." Dirk replied after Rose released him.

"You're not gonna believe this bro. Rose fucked up. I never would a believed it." Dave glanced at Rose with a smirk on his face.

Rose merely raised her eyebrow at Dave. "I don't see it as a mistake. I simply made an observation. It is not my fault if my mother has made a big deal out of it."

"Fuck Rose, you of all people should know better than to say something like that to our drunken teen ecto-mom."

"What's the big deal?" Dirk asked.

Rose sighed. "I was pointing out to my mo-Roxy that your baby would technically be related to everyone _but_ her and Jane. Considering your relation to Dave and me and Jakes relation to John and Jade, that would make the baby a half sibling to all of us. My mother was upset that she and Jane would have no familial relation to the baby. And of course she went straight to pesterchum and informed Jane of the situation as well. Now they're both depressed but are determined not to show it in front of Jake."

When Rose was done with her narrative Dirk could only chuckle.

"Of course you find it funny dipshit." Dave seemed exasperated though, like Dirk, his expression showed very little of what he was thinking.

"Don't worry about it, Jake and I are way ahead of you." Dirk glanced over at Jake who was still in deep conversation with John.

"You mean you had also come to the same conclusion as me?" Rose's eyebrow traveled upward again.

"Of course." Dirk let show a small self satisfied smile for his ecto-children.

Placated, Dave chose another topic to launch into and before they knew it Jane was calling everyone for dinner. She had baked lasagna and made a batch of cupcakes. Everyone dug in with fervor and was complimenting Jane on her skill. Halfway through his second piece of lasagna Jake excused himself, promising to be back shortly.

"Is something wrong?" Jade asked when Jake disappeared from sight.

"Nah," Dirk replied as everyone looked worried for a moment. "Just had to use the bathroom."

"The fuck?" Dave snorted. "He just went before we sat down."

"Well, what do you think would happen to _you_ if there was a thirty pound weight sitting on _your_ bladder?" Dirk pointed out.

"Shit. I don't even want to think about it. It should be the furthest thing from my mind; like Pluto is the furthest planet only it's not even a planet anymore so it doesn't even have _relevance_."

At that point Jake returned and the regular conversation resumed where it had left off with Jake none the wiser. After lasagna and cupcakes were consumed everyone was ready for Jake to open presents.

**Duh Dirk. You should **_**know**_** Pluto isn't a planet anymore -_-**


	12. Chapter 12

They all gathered in the living room. Jake sat in the middle of the couch with Jade and Dave on his left and Roxy and Jane on his right. Rose took the armchair and John was sitting on the beanbag chair. Dirk sat on the stool again.

Jake picked up the first present; a somewhat heavy gift even though it was one of the smaller ones wrapped in green paper.

"That one's from meeee!" Jade singsonged.

Jake tore away the wrapping paper to reveal a collection of Disney DVDs.

"Well played Jade!" Jake grinned at her as everyone chuckled at his rhyme. "You even got ones that I don't already have. How considerate of you."

"Hee! I checked your collection last time I was here to see which ones you didn't have. You should always have movies to watch with your baby!"

"Much appreciated!" Jake handed the DVD's to Jane who in turn handed them to Roxy to set aside for the moment.

Next up was a present wrapped in blue and Jane beamed and waved when he asked who it was from. When Jake tore the wrapping off it revealed a brightly colored box containing a tiny Easy-Bake Oven. Everyone was highly amused at her choice of gifts and their chuckles were met with a blush of her own as she laughed along with them.

"There's a stack of recipe cards in the box with some of my favorites copied onto them. Feel free to use them whenever since it may be a while before the baby could even read them!." Jane informed them smiling.

"It would be perfectly ironic if the baby were a boy now." Dave said. "A Strider with an Easy-Bake oven. What is this universe coming to?" He stated dramatically which had the effect of producing more laughter out of everyone. "Do mine next before the irony wears off. It's the big red one."

Jake obediently grabs the rather large and heavy red package and rips the paper off. He is greeted by the sight of a brand new set of turntables still in their box.

"Check it. That bitch is tricked out. No Strider should be without a set of tables, and those are top of the line." Dave said smugly.

Over the oohs and ahhs directed at the gadget Dave glanced up at Dirk who was looking at him with his eyebrow raised over his pointy shades. Dirk managed to catch the slight blush creeping across Dave's cheeks and fought to keep the smile from showing on his face. Underneath the attitude Dave cared more than anyone would think and showed it in predictably ironic ways. Only Dirk seemed to catch the significance of the gift and how much Dave had just let his affection show. But Dirk suspected the true meaning behind the gift was only meant for Dirk and Dave to know anyway.

Both Dirk and Dave loved their music. Seeing that Dave had gone to considerable effort to pick out a nice set of turntables was a blatant show of love in the Strider book. Dirk couldn't help his own swell of pride and love for his bro from bringing tears to his eyes. Dirk resolutely blinked them back and was grateful yet again for the cover of his shades.

Dave seemed aware of the emotional turmoil in Dirk and they both nodded at each other slightly. No one else seemed aware of the exchange between the blondes as Jake picked up the next gift.

This one was an oddly shaped bundle wrapped in too much pink wrapping paper. Roxy giggled as Jake picked it up and he grinned at her.

"Oh no!" Jake cried laughing hysterically as he tore open the package. It was a set of four baby bottles made to look like liquor bottles. They were all empty, much to Dirk's relief, but the humor was too much and his laughter joined everyone else's.

Rose's present was next and Jake opened it to reveal two sets of carefully knitted baby clothes. The first was white and on the center of the chest was a green skull wearing an orange baseball cap. The second was reversible; one side was purple with a heart on it and the reverse was yellow with wings.

Jake smiled warmly as he held the garments. He set them aside carefully and complimented Rose on her workmanship.

The last box looked a little beat up and John looked on excitedly as Jake opened it. Jake's eyes opened wide as he looked inside and lifted out the beat up old bunny that comprised its contents.

"Is this…" Jake started to ask.

"Yup!" John beamed.

"But you didn't have to give up _your_ bunny…"

"But that's the point! You're supposed to give it to someone you care about, just like the movie."

Jake didn't say anything else. He didn't have to. The shining of his eyes as he cuddled the much abused rabbit said more than words anyway.

"And now we have a question." Dirk stated as everyone looked up at him. Dirk motioned with his arm for Jake to continue.

"Ah, we would like to inquire if Jane and Roxy would like to be named godparents to our baby." Jake and everyone else looked at the girls expectantly.

They wore almost identical expressions of surprise and incredulous joy as they both whooped in excitement and practically smothered Jake and each other with hugs and declarations of acceptance.

**Aw. One big ****derpy ****happy family.**


	13. Chapter 13

That night after everyone had left Dirk had just finished the dishes when he noticed Jakes absence. A little worried He went looking for him. Dirk was relieved to eventually find him in their bed sound asleep still in all of his clothes.

Jake lay on his side his back facing out as Dirk walked around to his own side of the bed. He sat down and simply gazed at Jakes sleeping face. He looked so peaceful and dirk just wanted to hold him forever. He removed his shades and placed them on the nightstand next to Jakes glasses.

Dirk then lay down on his side curled slightly with his face pressing against Jakes protruding stomach. Placing one hand gently on the taught skin next to his belly button he could just barely feel the feather light movements of the baby against his forehead and palm.

Dirk didn't know how long he lay like that simply being close to Jake and the baby while they slept. Unwilling to move as he tried to cope with the emotions flooding him. His overwhelming love for Jake and now their baby. He didn't know you could love someone that much and still have room for another person in your heart. His growing anxiety over their health and everything that could possibly go wrong. His fears were starting to eat at him and this close contact with Jake was rather therapeutic. Knowing all of his friends were there to help support them was comforting.

Dirk was just starting to drift off to sleep when a surprisingly strong kick landed squarely on the side of his nose startling him awake and causing him to jump. He blinked for a moment marveling at the force of that kick.

Evidently that strong kick or Dirks jolt of surprise must have woken Jake because a moment later Dirk felt Jakes fingers carding through his hair.

"I felt that one." Jake chuckled as Dirk tilted his head up to peer at Jake.

"Little brat kicked me." He said indignantly but not without humor.

Neither of them moved for a good length of time. Jake felt warm and safe with Dirk pressed against him like that; cradling their baby as much as he could while it was still inside him. Dirk enjoyed the contact and the feeling of Jakes fingers continuing to comb through his hair was starting to lull him back to sleep when Jake spoke.

"Sometimes I feel so overwhelmed by everything. I'm afraid I'll become a terrified mess." Jake said and then watched as Dirk propped himself up on an elbow to look directly into Jakes eyes as he listened. "And then there are those times I wake up and you're holding us close like a moment ago. That's when I know that I'm not alone anymore; this isn't a dream. It's really happening. It makes me so happy I can barely breathe at times."

Dirk then scooted up and collapsed onto his pillow and pulled Jake close so that he was resting his head on Dirk's shoulder.

"I'm already a terrified mess Jake." Dirk sighed as Jake gave him a startled look. "Not only are we about to have a baby and have a shit ton of responsibility piled on top of us, but your health hasn't been guaranteed through this. I honestly and unironically don't know what I would do if something happened to you."

"I have the utmost faith that you would raise our child with everything you have regardless of my presence or absence." Jake replied immediately and with such conviction that Dirk could only hold him tighter.

**AJFGDJDHGD DirkJake feels. Right in the Kokoro.**


	14. Chapter 14

Everyone, it seemed, was strung taught as a bow. The agreed upon date for Jake's c-section wasn't until two days from now but Jake could go into labor at any minute.

Since everyone wanted to be present when the baby was born Dirk had set up several rooms in Jakes house where the kids could stay as long as was needed. Dirk was actually really glad everyone was around because that meant there was someone always with Jake at all times. He was walking a razors edge of anxiety and anticipation.

There had been two false alarms already and Jake had apologized profusely for what had been merely indigestion.

Jake appeared to be the calmest one of the bunch and laughed often at all of the mother hen behavior he was witnessing.

Nights were even worse for Dirk. He only slept in fits and starts; waking up at the slightest movement from Jake who always slept like a rock. Dirk was glad his shades hid the circles under his eyes from everyone but Jake.

Jake was just glad this whole ordeal was almost over. It worried him to see Dirk under so much strain and he would very much like his body back to just himself thank you very much. As much as he loved their baby he was ready to go adventuring again. This forced idleness had done nothing for his boredom and no amount of movies could tame his restlessness.

And no sooner then he thought this than he remembered that even after the baby was born he probably wouldn't be up to much adventuring. It was going to take a while to recover from the surgery and then they would be too busy with the baby to even plan for much else. Jake wondered if he could enlist some of their friends as babysitters once in a while.

Jake smiled then as he recalled the fervor of everyone else as they prepared the nursery next to Jake and Dirk's bedroom. Definitely no shortages of babysitters.

Still somewhat restless Jake levered himself out of bed and threw on some relatively clean clothes from the piles around their room. He then wandered down to the kitchen to find something to eat for breakfast.

Dirk was already in the kitchen as Jake walked in and plopped into a chair with a grunt. Dirk automatically brought him some cereal and a glass of juice.

"Thanks." Jake began eating resting one arm on top of his gravid stomach and resting his head in his other hand as he set his elbow on the table.

"You ok?" Dirk sat down beside him.

"Dandy," Jake replies absently, "Just bored. I think I'm going to eat outside."

Jake grabbed his bowl and rose stiffly heading for the door.

"You sure?" Dirk asked warily as he followed him down the stairs to the entrance.

"Dirk, if I don't see more than these walls sometime soon I'm going to go quite mad with cabin fever. Plus this may be the last chance I get to be outside for a while anyway."

Dirk's only reply is to keep following. Once Jake reached the front door Dirk opened it for him and Jake stepped outside and breathed in deeply savoring the scents of his jungle home. He took a seat on a convenient rock not too far from the front door and began eating his cereal with his eyes lost in the jungle around them. Dirk sat on the ground and leaned up against the back of the rock Jake was sitting on.

After finishing his cereal Jake set his bowl aside and leaned back on his hands. Jake watched as a small flock of bull fairies buzzed through the clearing swooping through the foliage as they played a game of air tag.

Jake smiled at their antics. He had always enjoyed watching the little creatures and was glad he got to see them before he was forced inside again.

One of the little fairy bulls pulled away from the group when it spotted Jake and flew right up to him. Jake smiled at the little bull as it seemed to sniff the air. Without warning it decided to land directly on Jakes big stomach. Startled Jake looked at the tiny creature as it cocked its head to look at him.

"Dirk," Jake whispered excitedly, "Look."

Dirk turned around to see what had put the excitement back in Jakes voice and saw the little fairy bull sitting on Jake. For a moment he froze in place wondering if he should chase the creature away or if he was overreacting again. But as soon as he thought that Jake brought one of his hands up and held it in front of the fairy bull. It sniffed his fingers and unexpectedly started to nuzzle his hand.

Jake laughed delightedly at this and Dirk relaxed remembering that these little bulls had never caused trouble for Jake when he lived alone on the island. It was the bigger fauna he had to worry about.

They both watched as the bull gave a tiny moo and took off again heading straight for the undergrowth and disappeared.

"Bye." Jake called after the fairy bull.

Jake leaned back again, this time with a wide smile as he closed his eyes and listened to the jungle noises. He heard nothing in particular for quite some time but suddenly he registered the tiny mooing of a fairy bull and it sounded like it was getting closer.

Jake opened his eyes and faced the general direction he heard the mooing coming from and his eyes widened when he saw a large section of the undergrowth shudder and part as if something very large was moving through the vegetation.

"D-Dirk?" Jake said urgently.

Dirk was immediately standing at Jakes side as they watched for more movement.

"Jake, get inside." Dirk grabbed Jakes arm to pull him to his feet but before either could so much as twitch a single fairy bull burst from the leaves in front of them mooing excitedly. Not a heartbeat later a very large frightening Fauna followed it.

**Clifhanger! Ha sorry!**


	15. Chapter 15

Dirk and Jake were frozen for an instant as they stared at the creature that had emerged from the jungle in front of Jakes house. Dirk unsheathed his katana and sent an urgent call for help via pesterchum as he placed himself between the monster and Jake.

The monster looked vaguely insect-like and stood on six pointy legs, although by the giant butterfly wings on its back one would assume it flew as well. It had a giant head that was vaguely skull-shaped and a pair of long sharp horns protruding from its head, though one of the horns was bent downwards at the tip.

It stood in the clearing for a moment blinking as it regarded Dirk and Jake. That moment of hesitation was enough for the rest of the kids to come boiling out of the front door in response to Dirks call for help.

The monster blinked as it regarded the newcomers but did not move. For a moment no one moved. Then someone gasped.

"Oh my god!" Rose pushed her way through everyone else to stand in front. "Does anyone else know what that is?"

She got silence as her only answer and she turned back to face the rest.

"This is a mother grub! Kanaya was telling me about her lusus and this fits her description." Rose turned around again to face the lusus. She walked foreword until she was within touching distance, right in front of its massive head.

The mother grub blinked down at her and made a kind of rumbling whine. Rose reached up and placed a hand on the creature's cheek. It closed its large eyes and sighed in pleasure at the contact. At that point everyone else started to relax.

The little fairy bull that had led the mother grub there was still buzzing around mooing tinily. It flew right up to the mother grub and gave her a little headbutt to get her attention. When she opened her eyes again and peered at the little bull it did an aerial summersault and flew straight to Jake landing on his head.

Jake was standing now having stood up during the commotion. He blinked and looked up trying to see what the little bull was doing sitting on his head. But the mother grub had seen where the bull landed and took a step toward the group of humans.

Everyone tensed again and went on guard around Jake ready to fight to protect him.

"Wait," Jake placed a hand on Dirk's shoulder and stepped around him stepping out of the circle of protection.

"Jake! What are you doing?" Dirk hissed in panic and stepped up beside him and grabbed his arm.

"I don't think she's here to hurt anybody." Jake reasoned as he watched the mother grub take another step toward them. It stopped right in front of Jake and they stared at one another for a moment before the mother grub extended one of its pointy legs out to Jake.

Dirk made a strangled noise as Jake reached out to grab hold of the extended leg like he would have given a handshake. The fairy bull mooed happily and took off from Jakes head doing excited cartwheels and spins midair.

The mother grub made another rumbling whine and pulled her leg from Jakes hand. But instead of pulling it away she pressed the back of the last joint gently against Jakes stomach. A large green tear trailed down the mother grubs face as she looked at Jake.

"I get it." Jake said quietly, "You're a mother grub, but you've never seen any trolls. There's no one for you to be a mother to is there?"

"We have to tell Kanaya and the others about her." Rose started. "They've gone without hope of replenishing their race until now. But there's a mother grub right here on Jakes island!"

"You hear that?" Jake asked the mother grub. She blinked and cocked her head as if she were listening. "We know some trolls. We'll bring them here to see you. You'll be a mother grub for them wont you?"

The mother grub breathed out gustily and nodded its huge head.

"You understand us?" Jake asked surprised.

The mother grub nodded again and more green tears started trailing down her face.

"Aw, criminy . It's ok we got you." Jake said hastily and put his hand on the mother grubs face. Another gusty sigh and the mother grub lay down in front of the house, clearly not inclined to move until the promised trolls arrived.

They had all turned to walk back in the front door and Rose was moving quickly eager to get to a computer so she could relate the astonishing news to the trolls now living on Earth.

Jake had taken three steps toward the house when he stopped with a swift intake of breath. Instantly Dirk was there with a hand on his shoulder and Jake grabbed Dirk's arm for support. Dirk looked down when Jake did and saw liquid trailing down Jakes legs.

His water had just broken.

**Ooh here it comes! Next chapter is the last.**


	16. Chapter 16

**Aw, I won't leave you guys hangin. Have the last chapter. Enjoy!**

"Guys!" Dirk shouted and everyone turned to see Dirk supporting Jake as they started walking back to the house. "Get Hal. The party's starting. Jake's going into labor."

The others looked at him wide eyes for a moment before they all scrambled into the house to get things ready and call Lil' Hal.

They had all been coached by Hal in the various things that needed to happen if Jake went into labor before the scheduled c-section. They quickly cleared a path and held the door open as Dirk helped Jake inside; one of Jakes arms around Dirk's shoulders. There they paused a minute when Jake stopped and pressed a hand to the side of his stomach, a grimace of pain on his face. When the pain eased Jake nodded and they continued down to the lab.

Everything had been prepared and ready to go for several weeks now in case Jake went into labor early. When Jake and Dirk walked into the lab they saw that Lil' Hal and Sawtooth were already there waiting for them.

Lil' Hal had programmed Sawtooth with enough information to help him with the surgery and to handle the baby while Lil' Hal would be busy stitching Jake up after the delivery. It had been agreed that no one else but Dirk, Jake, and the two robots would be in the lab during the c-section. Everyone else would wait outside.

Jake sat on the side of the table as another contraction started and rode it out clutching the metal railing. When it subsided Dirk helped Jake get undressed and hoped the trembling of his hands wasn't noticeable.

When Jake was ready Lil' Hal came over to give Jake the epidural. Jake leaned onto Dirks shoulders and a choked whimper escaped him as Hal inserted the small tube into his spine. Dirk held him there shooshing him and petting his hair as he trembled against his chest. After what seemed like an eternity Jake gradually relaxed and the pain left his face.

Dirk helped Jake lay back onto the operating table and reluctantly left his side to go scrub in. Lil' Hal and Sawtooth were busy setting up the curtain that would block his view of the operation. Dirk changed into clean medical scrubs and scrubbed his arms and hands quickly with the special soap. When he was done he called Sawtooth over to help him put on a pair of rubber gloves. Dirk then put on a cap and facemask and returned to Jakes side.

Both robots had sanitized themselves the moment they got word that Jake had gone into labor and fortunately the two robots would stay sterile for the whole operation unlike human doctors.

When everything was ready Dirk sat in a chair next to jakes head placing one hand on his forehead and lacing his fingers through Jakes as he lay spread eagle. Jake blinked up into Dirks uncovered orange eyes and nodded once.

"Ok Hal we're ready. Let's do this." Dirk announced. "We're making this happen." Dirk whispered loud enough for only Jake to hear.

Dirk never looked away from Jake as the robots started. He could only stare into Jakes eyes and caress Jakes cheek with his thumb as they waited for what seemed like an eternity. Hal was announcing what he was doing and calling out warnings to Jake whenever he felt Jake would feel uncomfortable with something he was doing but neither man really paid attention to what Hal was saying.

And then a wail split the air as a tiny pair of lungs filled for the first time. Jakes smile was so wide he thought is was going to split his face right in half. Tears were streaming from the corners of his eyes and dripping past his ears onto the pillow below his head. Dirk's smile was no less wide and his face was no less wet as his tears of joy streamed down his face and soaked into the mask he was wearing. Dirk leaned over and pressed his forehead against Jakes and they both closed their eyes and listened to the wonderful cries coming from across the room.

The cries gradually quieted and they both heard the metallic footsteps coming toward them. Dirk sat up just as Sawtooth reached them.

Dirk reached up and took the tiny pink bundle into his arms.

"_Gonna give this parenthood thing a whirl? Cause now you got yourselves a perfect little girl." _Sawtooth told them in his rap style.

Dirk held their daughter up to Jakes face so he could kiss her and murmur his hellos. Dirk could see beneath the small pink hat she wore that she had a shock of messy blonde hair the exact color of his own. They sat there like that until Lil' Hal was completely done stitching Jake up after delivering the afterbirth and putting bandages on Jakes now flatter stomach to cover the stitches.

Sawtooth then picked Jake up carefully bridal style and quickly transferred him to the more comfortable gurney to recover. Dirk then sat on the edge of the gurney and placed the baby in his arms. Her wailing had quieted to unhappy whimpers and murmurs but stopped altogether when she was placed in Jakes arms. He cradled her close and mumbled soothing gibberish until she quieted.

Dirk then carefully wheeled the gurney with its attached IV drip into the room connected to the lab set up as an extra bedroom with a spot to wheel the gurney into. The other door in the room led to the hallway where undoubtedly everyone else was anxiously waiting.

"Do you want me to go get everyone at once or one at a time?" Dirk whispered as he removed his mask but didn't bother putting his shades back on.

"Everyone." Jake whispered back tiredly. "Just make sure they stay quiet."

Dirk caressed Jakes forehead once before he stood and made his way out the door. It was only a few moments before Dirk came back in with the other six in tow. They crowded around the bed and gave quiet exclamations of joy upon seeing the little pink bundle in Jakes arms.

They all took their turn congratulating Jake giving him either a kiss on the cheek or a squeeze to his shoulder as preference indicated.

"What's her name?" Ironically it was Dave who asked the question. He had whispered it more for the sake of hiding the emotion that was choking him than the need for quiet.

Dirk and Jake looked at each other and smiled. Dirk placed a gentle hand on top of the baby's head as he answered.

"Her name is Jordyn."

"Dirk _look._" Jake whispered.

They all leaned in to see Jordyn had opened her eyes and was looking at them all solemnly. Vivid yellow irises greeted them as they looked down at her.

"Well," Rose stated, "I guess we'll have to give her the title Thief of Heart. I don't know about the rest of you but she has certainly stolen mine already."

There were big knowing smiles on everyone's faces as they nodded. After that everyone filed out to give Jake some peace.

Dirk placed Jordyn into her cradle next to Jakes bed and climbed in next to Jake wrapping his arms around his torso letting him use his chest as a pillow. Jake was quickly nodding off as exhaustion set in. Before he fell asleep he heard Dirk whisper.

"Thank you Jake. This tiny treasure is probably the greatest we'll ever find."

The end.

**Thank you everyone who followed me! I hope that this whole thing wasn't too terribly painful for any of you. My fingers just needed to gush sparkly DirkJake feels. I hope I didn't do too badly. I hope you enjoyed!**

**Also, fun fact, Jordyn's birthday is today's date, August 24 for those who were curious. :D  
**


End file.
